@TheZMan: Hey, we got news at the office today and I was curious if your professor had shared the information with the class yet?
@PsychedelicAlmond: Ohhhhh… are you offering to give me an insider scoop?
@TheZMan: I don’t know how to answer that.
@PsychedelicAlmond: It’s okay, I won’t get you in trouble with your boss. I’m assuming you’re referring to the grant?
@TheZMan: Yes. What are your thoughts?
@PsychedelicAlmond: Fifty-thousand dollars to fund your start up and a year of legal consulting from the ZeeSuite lawyers? It’s an amazing opportunity.
@TheZMan: And?
@PsychedelicAlmond: I would not want to be the one to pick the winner. I’ve got some incredibly talented classmates who have stellar projects they’re working on.
@TheZMan: That’s very diplomatic of you.
@PsychedelicAlmond: Just being honest.
@PsychedelicAlmond: Are you high enough on your totem pole to have any hand in selecting the winner?
@TheZMan: Are you asking if I can give you an upper hand? *Winky emoji*
@PsychedelicAlmond: Actually the opposite. I wouldn’t want to continue this relationship or whatever we want to call it if that were the case.
@TheZMan: So you wouldn’t want me to nudge the selection committee in your direction?
@PsychedelicAlmond: Absolutely not! I don’t want handouts. I don’t want help.
@TheZMan: Yeah, yeah. I get it. You’re a badass who doesn’t need anyone’s help.
@PsychedelicAlmond: Damn right, I am!
@TheZMan: I suppose if I told you I think you’re adorable it would undermine your reputation as a badass boss.
@PsychedelicAlmond: You wouldn’t dare!
@TheZMan: But, just so you know, it’s okay to ask for help.
@PsychedelicAlmond: Just so you know, there are some things you have to do on your own. Independence is very important.
@PsychedelicAlmond: And don’t think I haven’t noticed that you still haven’t told me one way or the other if you’re on the committee who will select the grant winner. Because if you are, we’ll need to stop messaging.
@TheZMan: I would miss talking to you.
@PsychedelicAlmond: I would miss that as well.
@TheZMan: The answer is no, I will not be the one selecting the winner.
@PsychedelicAlmond: So you can’t get rid of me that way.
@TheZMan: Guess I’ll just have to keep you then.
@PsychedelicAlmond: Speaking of things you keep, let me tell you about that new restaurant by my house…
* * *
@PsychedelicAlmond: I know you weren’t always as successful as you are now. Well, at least I’m guessing that, unless you were born into your job.
@TheZMan: What are you trying to say?
@PsychedelicAlmond: Okay, brace yourself.
@TheZMan: Consider me braced.
@PsychedelicAlmond: It turns out, I need advice.
@PsychedelicAlmond: You went silent on me. Did the shock kill you?
@TheZMan: Yes. I’m typing this message as a ghost while the medics work to bring me back. Better ask fast. There’s a light at the end of the tunnel and I think I smell my nana’s apple pie.
@PsychedelicAlmond: Dial down the drama, okay?
@TheZMan: Sure. <clearing throat and straightening glasses> What do you need advice about?
@PsychedelicAlmond: How do you deal with the overwhelm? I feel so scattered and unfocused about my project. I know ultimately what I want it to be, but it seems like the pieces are never going to completely fit together. Like I’m trying to put together a puzzle with pieces from different boxes and I don’t know what exactly I’m doing.
@TheZMan: I feel that way with every project I ever do. It’s part of the process. At least for me, it is. Perhaps it’s the same for you. Every project—at least the ones worth doing—feel too big to accomplish. It’s how you know you’re on the right track. Anyone can do the easy projects. The tough ones—the ones worth doing—need someone as smart and focused as you.
@PsychedelicAlmond: Have any advice of how to deal with it so I can get back to being productive?
@TheZMan: Think about why you started the project. What is your WHY? If you don’t know why you’re doing it, then you’ll never have a clear picture of the end result. It’s like walking around in a dark maze. You’re just making turns but you have no idea if you’re getting any closer to the end or just walking in circles.
@PsychedelicAlmond: Look at us using all the metaphors today! How very literary of us …
* * *
@PsychedelicAlmond: UGH! Why can’t I get this code to work?
@TheZMan: Need help?
@PsychedelicAlmond: Yes, but no thank you.
@TheZMan: That counts as a hand up?
@PsychedelicAlmond: Anything from you would. I’ve got to do this on my own. And I have to turn in all of this tomorrow to meet the grant deadline.
@TheZMan: Do you have ice cream?
@PsychedelicAlmond: Well, that’s random, but of course I have ice cream. We live in Austin, isn’t it against the law to not have Blue Bell in your freezer?
@TheZMan: Excellent point.
@PsychedelicAlmond: How will ice cream help?
@TheZMan: Because it’s ice cream. Ice cream always helps.
@PsychedelicAlmond: Hmmm … I think I was looking for something a little more concrete than that.
@TheZMan: The trick is to take a break, walk away from the computer, eat some ice cream and come back to it with a fresh eye.
@TheZMan: Also, literally go through the code line by line. Debug it old school style. Another set of eyes would help, but I assume you don’t want to share your screen so I can read over your shoulder.
@PsychedelicAlmond: Not even a little bit.
@TheZMan: It’s not a crime to accept help.
@PsychedelicAlmond: But it’s a slippery path. There are always people willing “to help” and then pretty soon, what started out as mine will be theirs.
@TheZMan: Help doesn’t have to be like that.
@PsychedelicAlmond: Maybe not. But if I do all of it on my own, I know it’s mine.
@PsychedelicAlmond: But if you want to hang out with me while I eat my Blue Bell Moo Bar, I could handle that.
@TheZMan: It’s a deal.
@PsychedelicAlmond: BTW, I have a complaint about this software.
@TheZMan: That’s not good. What is it?
@PsychedelicAlmond: I wish it allowed gifs.
@TheZMan: What?
@PsychedelicAlmond: Sometimes I really need a Mrs. Doubtfire gif, but this software has no such capability.
@TheZMan: Why do you ever need a Mrs. Doubtfire gif? Why does anyone need that?
@PsychedelicAlmond: First of all, watch the tone, Mister. Mrs. Doubtfire is a classic. But mostly because I have a weird thing where I use a British accent when I’m nervous.
@TheZMan: That’s adorable.
@TheZMan: The reason though is that this is anonymous to maintain professionalism they don’t want colleagues flirting back and forth with cheeky gifs.
@PsychedelicAlmond: I see what you did there with the use of the word “cheeky.”
@PsychedelicAlmond: So is that what we’re doing? Flirting?
@TheZMan: It’s what I’m doing, but I think my game is off.
* * *
@TheZMan: I have a question for you.
@PsychedelicAlmond: Shoot.
@TheZMan: What do you have against working for a software behemoth like ZeeSuite?
@PsychedelicAlmond: I don’t have anything against it. It’s just not for me.
@TheZMan: Why? You have something against paid vacation and a cushy benefit plan?
@PsychedelicAlmond: Sigh. I do dream of cushy benefits.
@TheZMan: So come work for ZeeSuite. I could get you an interview when you graduate. I know we could use someone with your talent and ambition. Especially since you seem more mature than the average college student.
@PsychedelicAlmond: I’m older than the average college student. Long story, but I took some gap years to help with family stuff.
@PsychedelicAlmond: Also, don’t think I missed that ‘we.’ Still a company man, aren’t you?
@TheZMan: Okay, the company could use you. And if you dream of cushy benefits, let me assure you, ZeeSuite’s benefits are very cushy.
@PsychedelicAlmond: Tempting, but I have to pass.
@TheZMan: Because ….?
@PsychedelicAlmond: Apparently, I also dream of exorbitant co-pays and out of pocket dental.
@PsychedelicAlmond: But seriously, big companies are great at producing big software that works for other big companies. At producing apps that work for millions of people.
@TheZMan: You say that like it’s a bad thing.
@PsychedelicAlmond: It’s not a bad thing. But there are niche markets that are important, too. There are small products that will serve those niche markets. They will never make millions. They will never go public and make their creators billionaires overnight, but those niche products and niche markets are still important.
@TheZMan: Wow. That wasn’t just, “No, I don’t want to work for ZeeSuite.” That was, “Hell, no!” and “Here’s my dissertation on why ZeeSuite sucks!”
@PsychedelicAlmond: Lol. ZeeSuite doesn’t suck. You create decent products that do a decent job at meeting the needs of a lot of costumers.
@TheZMan: Somehow that stills feels like an insult.
@PsychedelicAlmond: It’s not.
@TheZMan: But …
@PsychedelicAlmond: But, my app will still kick ZeeSuites’s ass, because it’s going to be great. It will just be great at meeting the needs of a very tiny sliver of the market.
@TheZMan: You ever going to tell me what your app does?
@PsychedelicAlmond: Maybe. If I can get this code debugged so that it actually does what it’s supposed to do….
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Totally enjoyed this, it was an excitingly hot exchange that left you wanting more